Lost for words

I’m sorry I always want to talk to you, but can’t always find the words to say it. Because you’re not always free when I actually have the words on the tip of my tongue. And I don’t just say whatever comes to mind so that I don’t end up bothering you. Because that’s what it feels like I’m doing, bothering you, so I try to ration it throughout the day. And my memory isn’t what it used to be. Maybe that’s why I can’t stop thinking about you, so I don’t forget what you look like or forget what having a good day meant. Because I’m always lonely and this emptiness is chronic pain. And I wonder why the only thing I can’t seem to forget is how to feel. Because all I know is what you said to me. And now it’s like I’m running after something that isn’t there anymore. Because all I know is what you said to me. And my memory isn’t what it used to be.