Right lane to exit only

People fail to realize that a sidewalk is a form of street, and not a platform. It is not designed for you to stand around on, flailing your arms about like some deranged actor. It is a motorway, so to speak, for human traffic. People walk in straight lines as if they are on a golf course, leaning into you as the green slopes ever-so-slightly to the left. You would think that their feet needed realignment. Most people walk with a destination in mind, others just get in our way.They jerk, suddenly, swerving as if their minds are stuck in first gear. Some stop altogether, spinning around with an outstretched arm like an eighteen-wheeler that has hit a patch of ice and jack-knifed. Then there are those who push a stroller. I wonder how babies don’t get motion sickness from riding in them. Just the other day, I was clipped from behind as my foot was caught behind the front wheel of a stroller. Now, the stroller was coming from behind, mind you, which makes the incident sound almost impossible. People should be required to have a license in order to be allowed to operate a stroller. Because I’ll tell you, those things are sneaky creatures. They’ll come out of nowhere and take your leg off. Maybe even both.

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